How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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