k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
