Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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