there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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