he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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