You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Randomize
