kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
