I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just forgot I was standing up.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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