Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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