Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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