***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
