and my herpes radar will keep us safe
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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