idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
