Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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