How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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