somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
