that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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