i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
