I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You took a bar mat shot.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
