I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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