Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
