Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
