did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
We don't watch enough power rangers
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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