I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
