I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
