I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
