better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
