We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
