A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
