North Korea, Best Korea!
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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