I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
