Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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