i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
