I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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