I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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