i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize