He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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