Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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