I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I forgot how hot balto sounded
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
