not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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