weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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