Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
