Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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