But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
