Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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