I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
