WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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