I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
