The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
