is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
someone owes me an orgasm
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
