I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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