There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
