you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize