I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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