Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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