toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I CAN MOONWALK!
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
