He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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