Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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