i don't like sucking hair
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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