I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
